I have always thought getting older sucks because we grow closer and closer to the God forsaken 'middle ages', but recent findings have me believing this is only true when it is I who is getting older. It's fun when it's everyone else. I've tried finding the perfect gift for you such as
because you seem to have a liking for yellow robots. But when I got the package in the mail, it was in thousands of pieces. I tried putting it together, but I suck at all things that don't involve sitting on my ass in front of a computer, so this task didn't end well.
I then decided to write you a lemony fanfiction slash story, but this is all I could come up with.
It felt rather dry, and I decided I wasn't cut out to write slash, so I gave up. I was growing rather frustrated in finding you the perfect gift. As I sat in my dimly lit garage, chugging back Shiner after Shiner...okay, maybe pretending to chug them back because I don't drink beer, but anywho..as I was saying. As I sat in my dimly lit garage/wolf girl cave that no man dares to enter, I thought, 'wait a minute- she likes music-hence the name artBEATSandlife' so I thought I would write you a song and sing it for you. It went something like this....
It seemed too close to something else, and I'm a horrible singer so....I decided I would try and see if Jake wanted to get in the box again. He wasn't too thrilled about this, and gave me this look:
and asked that I stop trying to cram him into a box to give away. ::eye roll::
So, it then dawned on me that you have a thing for Mr. Lutz. I pulled my knee pillows out of commission once again, laid on my back for a while more, and had my first threesome. This got me nowhere really, other than having some decent sex with someone besides mk.
I was left with nothing to give you and grew very desperate. I couldn't not give such an awesome person something for their birthday. That's when the idea hit me. I would stalk him. It was a very daunting process really, tracking someone from Texas who was anywhere and everywhere, but where I was. I hopped on a plane and flew to L.A. After getting settled into my hotel room I went in search of him. It would just so happen as soon as I stepped foot out of my hotel, I saw him. He was jogging and all hot and sweaty. I began to grow very...bothered by watching him. I, too, began to lust for Kellan Lutz.
I cleaned the drool off of my blouse and decided I might should approach him before he gets too far away, so I did. Cautiously. I didn't want to scare the poor guy away by throwing myself all over him.
He was a nice guy, shorter than what I imagined, but sweet nonetheless. We talked for a little while, about how crazy some Twilight fans can be, stalking and everything, and I assured him I was NOT this type of person. I went as far to say I despised Twilight fans, that they seem like rabid animals almost. (I didn't tell him that I secretly hug a body pillow that has a picture of Taylor's face on it at night because that almost sounds creepy) After a while, he asked if I would like to have dinner with him, maybe catch a movie.
I wanted so bad to say yes, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't follow through with why I was there in the first place?? The thought crossed my mind to buy you a candy bar and give it to you, you would never know that I went out on a 'date' with Kellan instead of getting you one like originally planned.
What to do? What to do? I thought. After much contemplation, which left him looking at me as if I was off my rocker a bit, I made my choice.
I showed him a pic of what I thought you may look like, and this is the last thing I saw of him as he ran off:
I really hope you look like this
'Cause uhh...that's the picture I showed him. :) Anyway, I hop you have a very Happy Birthday
Abl!! <3 ya!! -km3-
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